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anathema

From the Department of Stolen Things

Let me be perfectly clear, German toilets are evil. I shan't go into a lengthy explanation here, but for the uninitiated, have a look at this page. (Don't worry. You'll not be faced with anything more disgusting than the reality of the German toilet. It's quite safe for work.)

Perhaps the only way to make German toilets more annoying is to have to remember to bring your own soap, towel and toilet paper with you every time you go to the bathroom. Even after a few weeks, this can be a challenge at 2 am. Yet, there is something worse than having to remember your toilet paper when you go to the bathroom, and that's forgetting your toilet paper when you leave the bathroom only to come back five minutes later and find that it has been stolen.

Yeah. Stolen.

You see, at the Institute, I'm given one roll of rather shoddy toilet paper every Monday. Though since I moved to a new place on July 4, the maid hasn't come with the weekly toilet paper ration and clean sheets, so I've been buying my own and laundering my sheets. But, on Thursday night, I was down to my last roll. No problem. Leavening for Amsterdam on Friday back on Sunday (when everything's closed, and I do mean everything but restaurants), so I'll buy more on Monday. Right. That was the plan until around 10 pm on Thursday night when my toilet paper was stolen.

Seriously, how low do you have to be to steal a man's last roll of toilet paper?

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17 July, 2006 17:04

There is an older lady in a church I used to attend known affectionately as the "tp lady."

If a relative passes away, in typical church fashion, most people show up with food. This particular person shows up with a case of toilet paper.

Her rationale? "You probably weren't planning on having guests, but I'm sure you're getting lots of people stopping by. I wanted to make sure you were well stocked."

Last I heard, she had expanded her gift to include napkins, paper cups, and plasticware.  

By Blogger Jared  



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