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10 things i learned in paris

From the Department of All Things French

Yesterday, I returned from a three day weekend in Paris. I genuinely didn't want to come back to Göttingen. My journey back was not without consolation, however, as upon gaining internet access this morning, I found this and this. Surfen Sie jetzt! You'll thank me.

At any rate, the trip to Paris was great fun and was most educational. In fact, I believe Paris taught me 10 things...

1. Die Deutsche Bahn ist immer besser. Immer. Keine Fragen fragte. Okay, so that's not entirely fair. The Germans aren't so up on the Deutsche Bahn, but it's a hell of a lot better than Thalys.

2. Sometimes, it just doesn’t matter how may times you ask politely for napkins in French. Neither shall you be given bread with your escargot or water of any kind, no matter how many times you ask for them, politely and in French. You’re just not going to get them, you so called asshole American tourist. Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

3. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t avoid the Awful Eiffle Tower.

4. Quasimodo had some bitchen’ quads. Seriously, climbing to the top of Notre Dame kicked my ass.

5. Even with shitty service, the food is beautiful.

6. When in doubt, find the man with the biggest gun and ask for directions.

7. Two days in Paris costs more than 6 weeks in Göttingen (damnable shopping).

8. Gay Paris is really quite, well, gay. And let me be the first to tell you, it's "fabulous, darling. Absolutely fabulous."

9. When you walk into a French pharmacy in considerable pain and ask for something good, don't be surprised when they hand you small doses of narcotics. The corollary lesson is, gay Paris is a lot more fun when you're high.

10. High tea in France is actually better than high tea just about anywhere else. Best blinis ever.
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